Why am I feeling like this?
There is this person who loves me
And I feel like I want to be with him
But only when he’s not around
I’ve felt like this before
And I pushed them all away
Is it because I still love
The person in my past?
He’s the only one whom I really
Fell in love with.
I can’t understand myself…
I was longing for someone and
Here he is now…
Am I going to push him away
Like what I did to others that day?
I feel a bit heavy inside
Even though everything’s perfectly fine
They won’t accept you as you are
They say you don’t have a future
You won’t shine like a star
I don’t know what to do with you
Should I leave you now
Or stay with you
Eventually this will all disappear
The pain inside me which isn’t clear
All day long you’ve been on my mind…
And last night you were in my dreams
We finally met and said we could be friends
I embraced you with an open heart
I knew I still loved you…
Remember the times when I told you that
I’d love you always and forever?
Even though it seemed that I did not stay true to my word
I’m still loving you inside
You’re still the one who has let my dreams take wing
I live every single day for you
Hoping that one day I would come home
And we would meet again
Just like what happened in all of my dreams about you
I kept on telling myself before that you were just an illusion
I wanted to forget about you
But it just doesn’t seem to work
I may have not thought about you
I may have been into other people
I may have been in relationships after you
But I have never forgotten you
I wish I never threw your picture away
I wish I never fought with you
I wish I forgave you sooner than today
I wish I never let you go…
This is driving me to insanity
Thinking of you too much
I sometimes with that I would die
So I can watch over you if ever you’re still alive
And I hope you’re still waiting for me
Just like what you told me before I left
I’m listening to the song
You told me to hear
I’m feeling the emptiness
… fear.
You were there for me
But… I was not
I wanted to feel that way
I honestly did
But I don’t.
I won’t make excuses
Like I normally do
I’ll just tell the truth
About what I feel for you
Never wanted to lose you
I never meant to hurt.
I sometimes look at you
And find that you’re looking at me too
I want to know what’s on your mind
The thoughts you’re trying to hide
But all I can do is wait for tomorrow
And see what mysteries it’s going to bring
I’m still hoping that you like me
So I’ll wait for what tomorrow will spring
I can’t believe this is happening
Have I done something wrong to you
Please don’t leave
I still have a lot to share with you
Stay, oh please, stay…
I need you in my arms
Though I’ve never felt
What it would be like
I never was loved by you
I’ve never felt the love
You have inside
And you’ve never felt
My love growing
Growing through time
But I still love you
And I’d want to share it all
Please, hold on
Believe that someday
We’ll feel…
Feel what it’s like
To be with each other
And feel each other.
I’d still search for you
Even though it will take me forever
I’d still look for you
Even though I’d be a wanderer
When I meet you again on another lifetime
And we fall again
Maybe we’d be perfect
And found
But when I meet you again on another lifetime
And we fall again but you tell lies
I’d still wait forever
And search for you
Search for your voice
Steal
I steal a quick glance of you
And though you were looking
I smile and I laugh
Out of joy
I felt like being on clouds
It was heaven
I felt like being alive
It was magical
Then you came
Walking my way
My heart pounded
My eyes smiled
Then you passed by me
Walking
Stopped by the girl
Who was wearing black
You asked her out
I heard it
You hugged her so tight
I saw it
Your words cut through
Me like a sharp knife
You holding her
Brought my soul to tears
And once again I lost
The love I never had
And once again I lost
The happiness I thought I had
I look outside my window
Waiting for you to come
On my skin the wind blows
And on my face, the sun
I’m wondering if you know
That I like you more than a friend
I hope my feelings don’t show
I don’t want our friendship to end
I was enveloped in your embrace
Everything about that moment was magical
You were there and your love was only mine
You showed me that you care
You said you wanted to be with me
And spend every single day
Just chatting and laughing
Until we turn insane
Your love filled me
And my love filled you
There was nothing more we could ask for
Than the love we felt was true
Then it all disappeared
And everything vanished
Realizing that that was just
What my heart and soul wished
I’ve always hoped that someone
Would sing me a song
And write me a poem
I’ve always hoped that someone
Would love me more than his life
And would forever cherish me
I’m still here waiting
For that someone to come
To him shall I only
Express my love
But sometimes
It scares me
For I can not see
Maybe that someone
And I
Can never be.
There Was Once a Guy
There was once a guy
Whose brown eyes always shined
It radiated his happiness
He indeed made such smooth lines
There was once a guy
Who wasn’t afraid to be himself
He did what he wanted to do
And turned out to be oh so true
There was once a guy
Who made everyone laugh
His laughter infected people
With no one, he clashed
There was once a guy
Whose heart was pure and true
He made the world seem like a better place
And not completely blue
There was once a guy
Who I talked with at ease
He annoys me
But we were still at peace
There was once a guy
Who gave me butterflies with just his smile
It made my day and life
A whole lot worthwhile
There was once a guy
Who made me fall
Into the pit of love
It made its call
There was once a guy
Who was all you could ask for
He had it all
He was sure
There was once a guy
Whom I know can not be mine
He is above me
He lives life and shines
There was once a guy
Who almost made it to the top
But before he could reach it…
He stopped
There was once a guy
Who realized what he wanted
He knew he could never be parted
There was once a guy
Who decided to fall
He fell into my arms
Miracles do happen after all
I want to get out.
Be free.
Fly away,
Without you.
“I love you.”
Don’t know what it means.
I knew.
Now, I don’t.
Talking crazy,
Once again.
Full moon?
Yup!
But it doesn’t matter.
Have to go.
I’m not asking for you to wait.
I may not come back.
I won’t.
But maybe someday…
I’ll see you
And I’ll remember
What “I love you”
Really means.
Goodbye,
I love you.
If only I could be there with you…
I’d show you how much I care.
But all I can do is wonder…
How you’re doing in that bed.
I know you’re suffering a lot…
You don’t want that pain in your head
Maybe if I was there…
You’d feel a little better.
But I don’t know if…
You’d be happy if I was there.
I’d sit by your bed…
Even though you’re sleeping.
I’d stare at you for hours…
And wish you’d be better.
I am suffering too, you know…
I can’t bear to see you like that.
You know that I love you…
And I always will…
I just don’t know
If you love me still.
If tomorrow you ask me
To be there by your side
I will be there
For all time
You made me laugh
At everything you do or say
I think it’s simply cute
My worries just slip away
Your voice soothes me
And takes me to the place
Where I only dreamed of once
In your sweet embrace
You make me feel special
Like I’m a treasure of some sort
The kindness you’ve shown me
Leaves me sinking like a boat
But that was then…
So you say you love me
Do you really think it’s real?
We’ve known each other for several months
Is that enough to know what we feel
But each and every day
I get closer and closer to you
It’s like we’ve met before
In a dream, in a dream I once knew
Sometimes I stop and wonder
Will our love turn out right
But sometimes I just don’t care
All I know is that whenever I’m with you, I feel alright
So I also say I love you
Because that’s what my heart tells me so
But my mind is insisting
That I really don’t know
But I’ll just listen to my heart
I know things’ll turn out right
I believe someday it’ll be you and me
And we’ll be together for the rest of our lives…
I see you every night
I see you holding me tight
Each and every night
I’m wrapped in your embrace
And I see your eyes
Looking deep into mine
As we drift away
To a world called paradise
Yeah, in my dreams I could feel you.
I could have left you
A long time ago
I could have just given up
Our love…
But still I stay
I can’t leave you this way
There’s something pushing me to stay
Something’s telling me to wait
Maybe someday our love will turn out right
Maybe someday I’ll get to sleep beside you at night
All I wanna do is touch you
All I wanna do is feel you
All I wanna do is love you
The bright effulgence of your heart
Reaches my soul
The enchanting thaumaturgy you did
Made me feel cold
You make death seem innocuous
You make it seem unharmful
You make pain seem charming
You make it seem undoubtful
Wondering.
Thinking about you.
Are you really
everything that
you say you are?
And do you love
Me?
I really can’t
Understand you
Sometimes I think you’re
Lying
But sometimes you’re not
Up to when shall I wonder
Up to when shall I hope
Up to when shall I dream
And up to when shall I wait
It seems as if the
Answer is: forever.
I have not written a great poem for quite some time
Because the words in my head keep on disappearing
I could not think of something witty for a line
Only wanted to create something sublime
I am unsure of what I feel
Everything seems to be complicated
I am mixing fantasies with what is real
It is not you who I hated
Whenever I talk with you
My head fills with wonder
How did I ever get to be with you?
This causes me to shudder
You aren’t really what I hoped for
But you are perfect for me
This wasn’t what I was longing for
Yet something tells me we were meant to be
The sweetness of your voice
Induces me into a trance
Oh how I long
To be touched by your hands
To dance with you
Under the stars alone
Would surely
Bring me back home
Somewhere lovely
Where peacefulness exists
And everything is
Everything but bliss
I see that I am making
Another poem for you
About my thoughts
Which are true
I’m missing you more
Each minute every day
How can you be
So far away?
To be in your arms
Cradled by your kiss
Are the things
I wouldn’t dare miss
Can’t you see now?
I suddenly know…
I’m actually engulfed
By your soul.
I see you stare at me sometimes across the room
You quickly turn away but look back again soon
When you talk to me you look me straight in the eye
And speak what you have to say, you tell me no lies
Your voice reminds me of something buried long ago
You make me feel alive and send shivers to my bones
Sometimes I dream of you and I don’t know why
Because of you I have had sleepless nights
Sometimes I want you so badly, it hurts me inside
I don’t know what you feel, you haven’t crossed that line
Sometimes I want to cry, but I know I must not
I’ll just have to let this feeling go and try to put it to an end.
You told me you would wait
Even if it takes forever
You told me I’d be the only one you love
The one who’d be in your heart forever
You told me you’d never hurt me
You told me you’d always be there
You told me there’d be no other
You told me someday we’ll be together
But what has happened now?
You shattered my heart into pieces
All those things you’ve said to me
Are exchanged with blank faces
Please get away from me
For I still love you so
I want your memory to remain pure
So I can still sometimes smile
When I think of you soar
Still
I still think of you
The sweetness of your voice
The loving words
I wonder what could have been
If only you had been honest
It would have been so perfect
I still linger around
The dream world we have created
The perfect illusion
Which one would not
Want to leave behind
I try to remember
The first moments
The wonderful moments
When everything seems
To be exciting
It was so wonderful
It was enchanting
But it was not real
I wish it was though
I wish you were real
When we keep in touch
I am suddenly reminded
Of all the awful things
You have done and said
You apologize
But when I ask
For the truth
You turn cold again
So you are a schizophrenic
You still want it to be
Like the one we had before
You are blinded
By the illusion we have made
And get angry
When we can’t make it alive
I have grown into something else
I have seen what really is
I am not living like the way we used to
The perfect world like you thought
We were supposed to
You can still change
And find what life is
You can still see
And feel what you want to be
You just have to tell the truth
Leave away all the lies
Accept what really is happening
Leaving the bittersweet paradise behind
Maybe when you see yourself
We shall meet again
And create the perfect paradise
That is real and has no end
You make a smile show upon my lips
Which are craving to have just one kiss
The blue in your eyes reflect the sea
I long to feel you against me
The sweetness of your voice reaches my soul
I’ve been waiting so long for you to call
Maybe you’re feeling the same way too
As our eyes meet even if we are in opposite corners of
…a room.
Sitting there, with that gorgeous woman
Staring at her,
Admiring her every move
You look into her eyes
And travel deep down inside
As she too looks at you
With loving thoughts in her mind
All the while you’re smiling
You couldn’t believe it’s true
Because that woman is me
Fairy tales do come true
Wondering about you
As the cool breeze touches my body
I wonder if everything you say is true
I wonder if you really feel what you say you feel
Are you really real?
Turns out you’re not
I hate to say this
But I want you out.
Out of my life.
But still, no.
I want you here with me
I want to feel what it’s like in your arms
Arms I only feel in dreams
I love you.
Is it okay to say that?
It is but it’s a lie.
Maybe.
I like you.
Thoughts of you swirl in my head
Thinking about the words that you said
All of it melts with yesterday
I could never see you
Never see your face
Where has the flame gone
Why did you let the wind blow
I guess this is just the way it should be
This is the way the flow goes
So much for our dreams
They have flown with the wind
But maybe someday
We’ll catch them again…
Together.
It was only the second time that we talked
I thought you’ll be hard to get like other boys
You told me to tell you that I love you
But I didn’t want to because it wasn’t true
I guess I was just longing for someone
That’s why I said I loved you
But look at the mess I’ve put myself in
Do you think I’m committing a sin
You fell in love with me but I did not
I made promises that I forgot
But you must see my dear sweetheart
That this is only a fantasy
It is completely different from reality
We both know you and I could never be
Don’t engulf yourself too much in this game
Because the only thing you’ll get is pain
Maybe you’ll learn a lesson or two
But you will be a long time blue
It wasn’t supposed to be like this
This wasn’t what I really wished
To hurt anyone was the last thing on my mind
Especially someone sincere and kind
So you should really see
That this is just a fantasy
Completely different from reality
We both know we could never be
So please forgive me for telling lies
Please forgive me when I look into your eyes
It wasn’t supposed to be like this
This isn’t what you really wished
It all messed up and you fell
Everyone could really tell
Please don’t make it harder for us
I know you’re going to lose your trust
Just go and sail with the sea breeze
Because you weren’t supposed to love me
Would you dance with me when the music starts playing
Would you listen to me and hear what I’m saying
Hold my hand when I am lost
Don’t worry about the cost
Would you hold me tightly once the night appears
Would you kiss me softly, would you stay near
Sing to me once the stars shine above
Leave me not with this dangerous love
Would you tell me who you really are
So I can distinguish you from afar
Would you always tell the truth about
You and your world inside-out
I shall love you no matter who you are
Just don’t tell lies, it would only do us harm
Whenever I see him from afar
My heart wants to love him
But when he’s right beside me
I seem to not feel a thing
What do I really feel
About this red-headed boy
Whose eyes are like the sky
Whose freckles are coy
Do I want to be with him
And do what lovers do
The kissing, the hugging, the loving, the listening
And showing our love in our hearts that’s true
I pretend that you are not on my mind
But I know that it is you who captures my thoughts
I smile and make people believe that I am fine without you
Still, without you, my days are empty and lost
It amazes me how you made me get over him
But now I have to find a way to forget about you
It hurts to just stand here not knowing what you feel
And wondering if the things you said before were true
You should know though, that you will always be in my heart
And the love that you showed me once will forever live and will never part
When I hear the sweet sound of this song
I am reminded of you
And I smile because I am reminded too
Of the very happy innocent little girl that I was
Wanting to try something new
Not knowing anything
Always getting into trouble
But then, the next song almost brings me to tears
I am reminded of you
And of all the promises you made, which you broke
It almost tore me apart
Not knowing where some of the pieces of me have gone
I sacrificed everything for you
Everything.
Cake
My neighbor next door brought me a cake
And then he makes me drink yummy shakes
He was thoughtful indeed
Took my heart’s mysteries
And then he disappeared the next day
Just as I was about to walk away
Under the stars you came
Soon we were together trying to make our wishes come true
Tonight I am grateful to share these precious moments with you
I looked into your eyes and felt complete
Next thing I knew, you were caressing me
I just want to love him again…
But in the right way
I just want him to love me again…
But in the right way
I just want to hold his hand
And walk with him til dawn
I just want him to be there
I know someday, that time will come
I know we’re through
But still I can’t stop
Thinking of you
So many times
I’ve wondered why
I’ve let you go
And leave this all
I reminisce all the time
I can’t forget you
After so many nights
But I know breaking up with you
Was the right thing to do
Show your love…
You never do.
If only I was your angel
I’ll make sure you’re okay
I’ll help you make it through
Each night and each day
I would always be there for you
When no one’s around
I’d give you hope, I’d give you peace
I’d give you strength to stand on the ground
You are the one I always dream about
You are the one whom I love truly
I would kill to just see you smile
You are the reason why I breathe
You are the reason why I live
I would just give up everything to hear your voice
You are my sun in the day
And my moon in the night
I would sell my soul just to feel your embrace
We’ve been together for quite some time
You think we’ll last forever
In this world so big
And full of terror?
We suffered a lot
And I guess we got through
All the pain and hurt
That proved our love true
But we still have a long way to go
We still have much to learn
About life, about love
About making turns
I believe someday we’ll find out
If we’re really meant to be
Maybe someday
We’ll be sure it’s forever
Under that tree we’ll sail across time
Dream about our life together
Everyday til we die
Under that tree we’ll laugh and play
We’ll dream about “the day”
Under that tree we’ll make our dreams come true
Maybe until forever it’ll be me and you
Until tomorrow, my sweet
I’ll wait for you to come
I know someday we’ll be together
And share this eternal love
I’ll close my eyes now
And wake up to a new morning
A day closer to our day
I’ll always dream of that moment
When we will be together again
Up to when will I dream of you
Up to when will I wait for you
Is it possible that someday
We’ll be in each other’s arms
Is it possible that someday
We’ll be together, my love
I think I might be
Loving you even after I die
All I really want
Is to be with you
All I really want
Is to feel you
I’m coming back to you
This is not something new
I know I’ll be hurt again
But I’m willing to take the chance
But I’ll still hope and pray
That things would turn out the way they should be
I’ll still sacrifice a lot
And wait for the day when we’ll be together