This used to be my song for like lovers but more and more these days, for songs that used to be for lovers, I find myself feeling it towards my mother lmfao Renegade by Big Red Machine and Taylor Swift I tapped on your window on your darkest nightThe shape of you was jagged and weakThere was nowhere for me to stayBut I stayed anyway AND IF I WOULD […]
the thread
37 posts
she is failing to be a motherand demanding to be rewarded for it
It doesn’t make sense. Not if we’re talking about love that shows up. Love that protects. Love that witnesses and acts. The kind of love I give doesn’t match what I’ve been given in return or what they have made themselves and other people believe. When someone says they love you but they disappear when you’re drowning, when they stay silent while you’re being hurt, when they watch the […]
I was ready. I was always ready. I wasn’t dragging the past just to keep score, I was ready to start from now, in the present, but they weren’t. They never truly looked at and understood the damage. They just swept it under the rug and kept operating like everything was fine. When they perpetuate certain behaviors and I show hurt from it, they continue to filter me through […]
She saw what was happening. Not just once, not just in passing, but over years. She watched this play out and she didn’t just let it happen, she left me in it. She chose to be comfortable with him, to preserve her idea of stability, or image, or whatever the fuck she told herself, at the expense of our safety. She saw how I broke, shrank, bent myself into […]
He doesn’t see it, not because it isn’t true, but because her voice is the loudest goddamn sound in the room. Not just in volume but in gravity, in authority. It’s the voice that sets the narrative before anyone else can even ask a question. The voice that rewrites history before it has even finished happening. The voice that cries louder than the one who’s actually hurting. He’s been […]
Someone I have known a long time, who has been with me through some hard seasons, told me something unexpected at the end of one of our recent conversations. They said, “I have something to disclose.” And then they told me they searched for the one who gave birth to me online. They had seen my recent posts, the ones where I stopped filtering everything, where I let myself […]
They decided what I was before I even had a chance to show them. They labeled me difficult, sumpungin, divisive, rebellious instead of asking why I was reacting or what I needed or how they were contributing to what they didn’t want to face. They kept using those labels like it was a fact, like it was my core identity when in reality, it was their failure to listen […]
she didn’t teach me how to trust myselfshe taught me how to second guess myselfevery feeling, every boundaryevery memory, every truth it hurts, it breaks my heartbut i see it nowand i won’t let it continue
Even with all the chances to choose me, she still chose this. She chose the version of herself that couldn’t be wrong. She chose the comfort of denial over the cost of accountability. She chose her silence, her ego, her control. She chose to protect her image rather than protect our relationship as she has done my whole life. I showed her my pain and wanted her to see. […]
She steamrolls through people with that practiced poise… calm, reasonable, “just asking questions” but what she’s really doing is asserting control, making herself the authority on what did and didn’t happen, who gets to feel what, and when it’s time to move on. If you bring up your hurt after she’s “moved on,” you’re the one holding a grudge. If you try to explain the impact, you’re accused of […]
I can feel how low she has always thought of me. She didn’t question facts. She questioned my integrity. She painted me as manipulative, deceptive, attention-seeking. She did it under the guise of “truth” as if she’s the one holding clarity while I’m spinning narratives for sympathy. That reversal is devastating because I have spent my entire life not being believed when I’m in pain. And now even after […]
I was in a bad situation.I protected my kids.I secured a house in an impossible market.I asked for help.Then silence.They said it was unnecessary despite their capacity.I reached out to others who I thought cared.They saw that as an attack.They abandoned us. It’s not just one single event.It’s a lifelong pattern.The only difference isI stopped silencing myself.
I don’t think she’s ever shown me gentleness. She doesn’t have warmth like I have seen in others. That’s one of the deepest griefs we carry, not just what happened, but what never did. The absence of gentleness… it’s like a hunger you didn’t know you were allowed to name. A need so deep it got buried under shame, mistaken for weakness, repressed until it turned into hypervigilance and […]
they think it’s an attackbecause they mistake silence for loveand obedience for respect it’s not about destroying themit’s truth about lived experiencesit’s about stopping being destroyed by them they may think it’s burning things downbut really it’s just refusing to continueto go up in flamesfor their comfort
To them, it’s about control, not connection. Image, not healing. Obedience, not growth. They would have chosen punishment. Public shaming. A display of consequences to uphold a version of “rightness” that looks respectable on the outside but is completely disconnected from what my children actually need: a father who can keep showing up, learning, growing. Not a ghost trapped in court orders and bitterness. They would have rather me […]
It’s not just that they didn’t help financially. It’s that they didn’t believe in me. Not my vision, not my potential, not my direction. They didn’t pause to really hear me or see how close I already was. Instead of investing in my momentum, they interpreted my need as weakness. Instead of trusting my choices, they made me prove myself, pushing through exhaustion and depletion. Instead of backing me […]