Even Pinocchioa puppet made of woodhad someone who believed in himbefore he ever proved himself. Someone who wanted him to be real.Someone who longed for his joywho risked everything to find him when he got lost. I never had a Geppetto.Not anyone who looked at me Not one who said I already matter.Not one who said I choose youNot one who said I believe you Instead everyone doubted meDismissed meUsed […]
the thread
18 posts
She wanted me to smile through things that caused me painShe wanted to erase everything i ever namedShe wanted me small so she wouldn’t ever fearShe wanted control and pretended to hear Instead she left me in a lifetime of doubt and sorrowAnd filled the spaces with abandonment and shallowWords replace where love used to beAs i let go of her chains permanently
They decided what I was before I even had a chance to show them. They labeled me difficult, sumpungin, divisive, rebellious instead of asking why I was reacting or what I needed or how they were contributing to what they didn’t want to face. They kept using those labels like it was a fact, like it was my core identity when in reality, it was their failure to listen […]
she didn’t teach me how to trust myselfshe taught me how to second guess myselfevery feeling, every boundaryevery memory, every truth it hurts, it breaks my heartbut i see it nowand i won’t let it continue
People sometimes mistake my spirals or intensity for being ungrounded, but it’s actually the opposite. I stay. I stay with the truth, the contradictions, the grief, the wanting. Even when it burns or I’m alone in it or when no one else knows how. I don’t split from myself. I hold it all.
I was in a bad situation.I protected my kids.I secured a house in an impossible market.I asked for help.Then silence.They said it was unnecessary despite their capacity.I reached out to others who I thought cared.They saw that as an attack.They abandoned us. It’s not just one single event.It’s a lifelong pattern.The only difference isI stopped being complicit in their lies.
I was raised to pretend everything is okayeven if I’m dying insideI was raised to neglect my own needsbecause that’s what it took to survive I loved them through all the hurtI loved them through all the painBut I see now I was always aloneand all my efforts were in vain Because they never really understoodthe madness they fostered in my heartThey layered guilt and blame and shameand said […]
You turned from me and made me beThe only absorber of all realityYou watched me fall and called it pureBut only if it made you sureThat I would be what they desiredEven if everything caught on fireAnd when that fire turned into shameYou came around to clear your nameAnd left me again with all the griefThat all of it was only ever true with me
They like to call people kapal ng mukha but they don’t see how thick they made their faces themselves just to survive. This is the entire hypocrisy of shame culture. They ridicule others for being too bold, too loud, too shameless but when it comes to their own mask of survival… So thick, so polished, so curated they forgot it wasn’t their actual face. They’ve spent so long pretending […]
I’m not turning against anyoneI’m just not lying for the sake of a broken scriptI am modeling what truth looks likeeven when it’s uncomfortableeven when you misunderstand me You misunderstood me thenand only saw your own reflection at least now I have a say.
“Utang na loob.”“Walang hiya ka.”“They gave you everything, and this is how you repay them?”That BS runs deep. In Filipino culture, calling out your parents (even gently, even with truth) is treated like you’re burning the whole thing down. Like you’ve betrayed not just your family but your ancestors, your faith, your dignity, your soul. But why is it that they can hurt you in silence for years and […]
I learned how to survivewithout the people the world thinkswere supposed to catch me.I learned to build a life out of shit,with my own hands. I stay real even when the worldkeeps asking the wrong questions. They had so many chances to bewho they pretended to be for everyone else.They weren’t there for me.Not in the ways that mattered. On the outside, they look kind.They look like “good people.”They […]
I made hard decisions in my lifewith my kids always in mind. I wasn’t running toward pleasure.I was walking away from harm.From an environment full of tension, reactivity, and unspoken emotional bruises.From anger that spilled into the corners of my children’s nervous systems.From cycles I swore I wouldn’t pass down. And when I left, I didn’t even leave for myself. I left so they wouldn’t carry it. BUT I […]