They hid themselves in the language of goodness while letting cruelty and othering happen. They mishandled things that should have been basic integrity. They had the language of regulation, mindfulness, accountability, nonjudgment, effectiveness… then they behaved in ways that were mindless, ego-protective, invalidating, and harmful. They doled out harm while claiming to be the kind of people or system that should know better, while using values-language to protect them, […]
the thread
28 posts
Even Pinocchioa puppet made of woodhad someone who believed in himbefore he ever proved himself. Someone who wanted him to be real.Someone who longed for his joywho risked everything to find him when he got lost. I never had a Geppetto.Not anyone who looked at me Not one who said I already matter.Not one who said I choose youNot one who said I believe you Instead everyone doubted meDismissed meUsed […]
THIS ISN’T OKAY AND I’M DONE PRETENDING THAT IT IS I’M SURROUNDED BY SYSTEMSTHAT ACT LIKE THEY’RE IN CHARGEBUT CAN’T EVEN FUNCTION it’s disgustingi am so over iti am so sick of it mindless incompetence is insanemindless ignorance is brutalmindless numbing rots it has no place in a world that evolves
She wanted me to smile through things that caused me painShe wanted to erase everything i ever namedShe wanted me small so she wouldn’t ever fearShe wanted control and pretended to hear Instead she left me in a lifetime of doubt and sorrowAnd filled the spaces with abandonment and shallowWords replace where love used to beAs i let go of her chains permanently
the waiting, the silence, the non-resolutionteaches you that your truth will always go unheardunless you do something drastic yourself it’s worse when you do go backto try to make sense of what happened,they act like you’re the one stirring things uplike you’re the one who can’t let go but it’s about wanting closure, repairabout wanting understandingabout wanting to be met in the middle but to some, the middle is […]
I wanted to do things that actually made sensenot just obey or pretendto be able to say when something doesn’t feel rightand be met with curiosity and understandinginstead of faking a smile or being dismissedbecause I always asked whyinstead of just acceptingbecause I wantedtradition AND truthcomfort AND clarityconnection over convenienceI want to live in integrity
They decided what I was before I even had a chance to show them. They labeled me difficult, sumpungin, divisive, rebellious instead of asking why I was reacting or what I needed or how they were contributing to what they didn’t want to face. They kept using those labels like it was a fact, like it was my core identity when in reality, it was their failure to listen […]
she didn’t teach me how to trust myselfshe taught me how to second guess myselfevery feeling, every boundaryevery memory, every truth it hurts, it breaks my heartbut i see it nowand i won’t let it continue
People sometimes mistake my spirals or intensity for being ungrounded, but it’s actually the opposite. I stay. I stay with the truth, the contradictions, the grief, the wanting. Even when it burns or I’m alone in it or when no one else knows how. I don’t split from myself. I hold it all.
I was in a bad situation.I protected my kids.I secured a house in an impossible market.I asked for help.Then silence.They said it was unnecessary despite their capacity.I reached out to others who I thought cared.They saw that as an attack.They abandoned us. It’s not just one single event.It’s a lifelong pattern.The only difference isI stopped being complicit in their lies.
all it takes is one personwith power and a biasone misunderstandingone snap judgment and suddenlyyour bodyyour lifeyour everythingis no longer yours they train people to hardenthey blame the vulnerablethey treat suffering like an inconveniencethey turn the anger downwardthen they punch downat the people who need careat the people with least powerbecause it’s easier for them we should not leave our humanity to die
I was raised to pretend everything is okayeven if I’m dying insideI was raised to neglect my own needsbecause that’s what it took to survive I loved them through all the hurtI loved them through all the painBut I see now I was always aloneand all my efforts were in vain Because they never really understoodthe madness they fostered in my heartThey layered guilt and blame and shameand said […]
This is all so much bigger thanany one person or role or system or moment.It’s the entire normalization of shallow humanity. Just be nice.Don’t make it awkward.Don’t say too much.Forgive and forget.Be grateful it wasn’t worse. The kind that celebrates “healing” as long as it’s quietand only if you follow the exact same paththat only ever worksin that one circumstancewith the same set of variablesAs long as you don’t […]
You turned from me and made me beThe only absorber of all realityYou watched me fall and called it pureBut only if it made you sureThat I would be what they desiredEven if everything caught on fireAnd when that fire turned into shameYou came around to clear your nameAnd left me again with all the griefThat all of it was only ever true with me