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The most important lesson, and useful lesson, that I have learned in my life so far is that there is really nobody else that I can rely on except for myself. Everyone will fuck us over at least once in our life. But can we really blame them? No. Because that is the way people are. We are just all doing things that will benefit us in one form […]

Why am I feeling like this?There is this person who loves meAnd I feel like I want to be with himBut only when he’s not around I’ve felt like this beforeAnd I pushed them all awayIs it because I still loveThe person in my past? He’s the only one whom I reallyFell in love with.I can’t understand myself… I was longing for someone andHere he is now…Am I going […]

I have such a wonderful thoughtDancing around my headIs it something to write aboutSomething worth to be shared I cling on to the thoughtWith all my mightForcing it to stayTill I get on through the night Hoping it would lastAnd find its way on a bookNot like the other thoughts I hadOne minute was all it took Now I grasp clearlyAnd hold it close to my heartBut now it’s […]

Quickly you came, did something newCrazy, in so many ways I can’t explainIt baffles me the way you carry yourselfAnd somehow I know I won’t be the sameWithin your presence I’m captivated by you…I’m captivated by everything you do… Why do you have so much power over me as to entrap me in your world and make me forget about everything… But you are so different from the guy […]

Crying ChildThe rain is pouring hard outsideAnd it makes me think that this sweet child of mineIs longing for someone to holdTo save and protect her from the cold Day and NightDayBright, wonderfulArresting, alleviating, radiatingSun and moon crossingCreeping, misleading, engulfingDark, silentNight DiamondsDiamondsBeautiful, sorrowfulTwinkling, falling, extremely deceivingPuts the tantalizing twinkle in your eyeTears

Added to MSR: 03.03.11 I’m killing myself. Do we ever really learn? What keeps us holding on to something—and what keeps us from letting go? There are questions we don’t ask, answers we chase endlessly, and nothing ever seems to relieve the pain. The ache. The quiet frustration. Why do we let ourselves suffer? Lately, every time I talk to him, he feels distant. Disconnected. I’ve known this was […]

Added to MSR 030311Originally written in 2003 Malaika sat there in the corner of her bathroom looking at her swollen wrists, then at the knife, then back to her wrists. She does not cry about the pain, but then she cries because she is a coward. She can not do it. But please send someone to save her, she feels alone. Her mother can’t even hear her pain, though […]

Stop “Finding Yourself”, Take Life by the Horns and CREATE Yourself Ever since I was a little girl, I have always heard phrases and sayings from different people, books, magazines and shows on how to “find yourself.” Try different things, explore your options, and look for the things or activities that complete who you are. We hear songs and stories about people trying to look for themselves and waste […]

what is the sound of a broken heartand what do you hear when your world falls apartwhen you walk all alone through the city nightslistening and hearing and seeing frightsliving in your soul and trying to break freefrom all the constraints that you’ve put on mewhere everything feels like a hellish blisswhere everything feels like it’s full of shitall the lies and hypocrisies surround your beingyou try to see […]

IWe should not stay in places we are not happy being in. We should cease to do things we are unhappy of doing. We should live life doing things we enjoy to do. We shold live life thinking of me and you… not wrong. IISomeday we will realize all the faults and all the stupidity that we have put ourselves and others through. Someday we will see the things […]

Im just punch drunk in love with youits hardwired in my brain alreadyto think of you and be in love and crazy im just a fool waiting for your every moveto see if you would come to meto see if you would rescue me ive gone through the valleysof the shadow of death and upon my returnthere you are at rest waiting for me, waiting desperatelybut still you leave […]

and i say upon to you and everyonethat whatever you believe in will be the truthwhatever they say will be the realityso everything is a possibility and i know that the world has limitsthat hinder one from growing and learningbut these limits are set in place to controlso everyone will not know everyone will not know the truth of all lifeas it is hidden away with the powers of […]

For too long I have been blindBy my own forceI dare not see beyond the realityThat you are not mine anymoreI turn my head the other wayTo be able to see only youAnd the love we shared togetherBut now, it’s not the truthI don’t even love youLike the way I used toBut why do I still cling to youWhy do I still miss youYou say I’m in your heartand […]

Sitting here, staring at the watch of timeI think about the love through you and meWith all our immaculate crimesI dream of grazing your cheek in mineWhile my soul gets lost and drunk in your scentI lose all control of my whole being, my mind pentThe eyes are too blind to see the beautyIn the hope that runs deep but forgotten

circumstances will change all around you, but you will remain you You are stronger than what you have made yourself believe I’m done with things I have no control over. My main focus right now is ME and how I can make myself grow. I’m through with all these fucked up things that I do. Just get out of my way, I know where I’m headed and I’ll get […]

I remember reading this story in my high school English class… about a man who enters a cave and upon coming out, he could no longer relate to the other people as they have not seen what he has seen. Detached from others’ reality but at the same time, understanding everything, people could not comprehend him nor can he try to make others understand. This is exactly the way […]

Stab me until all my blood gush out on the floorAnd taint everything redChoke me until all the words that I knowWill be left unsaidSuffocate me so my breathing will stopAnd my heart slows down to dieRelease me from all this pain and sufferingThat every day makes me cryAll the life is gone from me nowAs I stop caring for myselfThey say life is meaningful but from where I […]

I cry for all the pain and sufferingIn this world full of hateI cry for all the love lostTrapped forever in fate I cry for all the goodnessThat have subsided with timeI cry for all the memoriesThat will fade away… I cry for everything.Nothing’s the same. Aug 7 2005

I am alone in this crazy whirlpoolWith no one here to guide me every dayBut I know it’s my fault you don’t come to meI just push people away I am afraid that you’ll just use mePretending to be a real friendI know I shouldn’t feel like thisBut I think it’s the wait it’ll end Do you think I can trust after what I’ve been throughDo you think I […]

He lives but does not live at allHe cries but it isn’t for joyHe is alone with tears in his eyesPretending to be happy with all the lies So they have won but he still has hopeThat his dearest is still aliveHe hugs his toy hoping someday she’d callTo say that she didn’t leave his side 2005