voidsit
Staying trappedWith no controlOver anythingMy future holds The weight of loveHas bore me downAnd shoved my faceSo deep in the ground Stand up straightAnd hold your head highPerform for everyoneLike you never died That’s all they seeAs you just try to beFree from the painThat will never cease
things will never changepain will always behappiness is the illusionthat will always deceive me caring is a performancethat when felt makes you bloombut when that is taken awayyou instead meet your doom love is a weaponthat is used to controlhope is the greatest lieto keep you afloat dreams are only goodwhen you don’t need them to be realand reality is only thereif you give up your will
the cycle continuesit never stopsand the pain will persistdespite the costthe illusions won’t breakbecause everything will falland it was my faultto even hope at all i am a shell that triedto be more than i couldand in the processi burned more than i shouldi am a thorn thatwanted to survivebut in my quest for lovenothing came alive so now the maskcomes on as it shouldthe wonder and joystored away […]
It’s hard to push through when nobody sees it like you doIt’s hard to continue when there is nobody else who believes youIt’s hard to do everything and still get misunderstoodIt’s hard to work on protecting and building something only for it to not mean anything at allIt’s hard to live in a world where nobody listens but keeps talking like they doIt’s hard to continue when you know […]
They didn’t say the words outright, but they didn’t need to. The message was woven all through their tone: “We wanted to help you but not this time when this expense is not necessary…” What they were really saying was: “Your struggle isn’t valid enough. Your reality doesn’t meet our threshold for compassion. We will love you in theory until it costs us something uncomfortable.” That is emotional abandonment […]
“Utang na loob.”“Walang hiya ka.”“They gave you everything, and this is how you repay them?”That BS runs deep. In Filipino culture, calling out your parents (even gently, even with truth) is treated like you’re burning the whole thing down. Like you’ve betrayed not just your family but your ancestors, your faith, your dignity, your soul. But why is it that they can hurt you in silence for years and […]
They’re framing my need for support (emotional, financial, or otherwise) as entitlement. As if expecting love, care, protection, and respect from my own parents is somehow unreasonable or immature. As if I should be grateful they offered it at all. They even said: “We are sorry our love language for you is not enough as you have your own script of what love is…” (Oh yes, my mother always […]