drifting

We start losing ourselves when we stop feeling like we have a choice in the direction of our life and instead we feel forced by external factors. Like your thoughts and feelings don’t seem to matter in the situation or feeling like you don’t have a say in leaving or feeling like there is no regard to what you want. It doesn’t always mean it’s a total loss of self, you’re still there being able to observe but it feels like just drifting with no direction.

The feeling of losing ourselves doesn’t necessarily come from the drifting itself but us forgetting that we can still make our own choices. Awareness is so important here because without it, you can get carried away by whatever pull is the strongest and then suffering seems inevitable and something you can’t control. We all drift but being conscious enough to play with it is the difference between existing and just surviving.

Drift is life without awareness where everything is still happening but they’re just cycling and compounding on themselves without your input. That’s when you feel lost because it’s directing you instead of you running it. Awareness is the possibility of evolution inside that life. We can then shift, reframe, and integrate because we aren’t stuck inside repetition but actually creating something new out of the drift that can lead us to new situations that are better aligned with what we want out of life.

Everything is recursive, looping, layering and you lose yourself, agency of yourself, when you let those recurring patterns run without awareness. Staying mindful and present enough to radically accept reality is where our authentic self keeps showing up and not dissolving into nothing.

Drift is inevitable but losing our way isn’t. You can let the drift keep feeding itself until you’re gone or you can catch the loop, choose differently, then get surprised.