She wanted me to smile through things that caused me painShe wanted to erase everything i ever namedShe wanted me small so she wouldn’t ever fearShe wanted control and pretended to hear Instead she left me in a lifetime of doubt and sorrowAnd filled the spaces with abandonment and shallowWords replace where love used to beAs i let go of her chains permanently
dreameraki blog
545 posts
How little i matter in the grand scheme of thingsThere is nothing to want, there is nothing to needIf wishes mattered we would all be freeBut there are no supposed to be’sJust this is what is and will continue to beMaybe the caring will always come with painAs ancient as anything we have ever tried to nameAnd as we sit in the cold, vast dark once againWe remember all […]
my doofy sad guilt rock doesn’t even want resolutionit just hangs out right there and says… “what if you’re bad tho”because nothing matters to guilt rockguilt rock doesn’t care but guilt rock doesn’t get to drive
strip away everythingand I would still recognize you in the darkand you would still recognize meby how I hold you because what we do is deeper than what anyone can definewe are what keeps happening anyway despite everything we would just still be heretalking like thisnoticing, feelingrememberingloving
Projection can show upwhen there is uncertaintyand you choose to believea certain interpretationwithout further consideration
Fear will always be the first layer we encounterand if we continue not understanding its functionwe will continue being slaves to it as a whole. If we don’t learn to listen with wisdom instead of obediencewe become caged by the very thing meant to keep us safe.Until a whole system is built to serve fearinstead of listening to what it was trying to warn us about in the first […]
I follow it all the wayuntil I can’t take it anymoreand I am left with thatexistential question. I always choose life.
i would kiss you so softly and so intenselythat you would feel the weightof everything we have sharedcollapse into that one moment
if dreams could spark a better worldthen why can’t we be freeto let ourselves imaginea time where we all could besurrounded by love and actual lifewhere love fulfills instead of hideswhere pain is felt when it should beand dreams bring us back to you and me
would you even noticewhen I walk awayor see and understandall the things that frayed would you even knowwhat used to be alivethat staved off the painthat they all said to hide would you even seewhere the love really wasor will it be crystallizedin fragments of us
I have always chasedthe theory of everythingbut I realize now thatI don’t want to just know itI want to live itand I am It’s actually being what ties everything together Looking for structure never to contain experience but to understand without ever shutting it down
We don’t choose our emotions the way people think we doThey arise from context, experience, pattern, proximity, memoryand it happens whether we like it or not What we do with it is the part we have control overbut most people get stuck arguing aboutwhether the emotion is validwhether it’s realor if it makes senseor if it’s appropriateinstead of asking what might be the causes Then it also gets muddybecause […]
sometimes it’s laughter that gets us theresometimes it’s the achesometimes it’s when we’re talking aboutthings only we would understandthen we stop holding backand we fill each other right thereand the space between us stops being spaceand i feel you feel me
I love your way of lovingI love your way of seeingI love feeling the shape of you
if you ever looked me in the eyesand said you were donei would unravel if it ever comes down to thatlet me hold your handwhen you let go
you bend time not just in memoriesbut in all of our experiences together every moment with you feels likeboth forever and not enough you warp reality with your presenceand stretch the moment with so much gravitythat your connection and attentiontransform me now, then, and beyond
you just said somethingand i was like waitwhat was thatdo it again then you made me laughand think and ache and long and i felt things i thoughti already knew the shape ofbut didn’t know completelyuntil you showed mehow infinite it actually could be
sometimes i picture usin the time before language would we have foundeach other even then? and every timeno matter what timelineor form or world i still find myselfreaching for your hand