Let me all the way inlet me past the surfacelet me feel the exact shape of youlet me know you without translationlet me close the gap for one second. Part of what love does is it makes the distance between us feel both more miraculous and more intolerable. I can know you this much and at the same time why can’t I know you all the way? Why is […]
longing
13 posts
Sometimes there’s a deep, very old craving for someone’s love, approval, and understanding. There can also be a long history of getting little hits of love that was mixed with manipulation and invalidation. Then it trained a body and mind that remembers the high and the crash that even today still sometimes wonders if one more hit will finally be the good one. When we crave their love but […]
Look at this threadIsn’t it neat?Wouldn’t you think that my build is complete?Wouldn’t you think I’m the uodThe uod who has everything? Look at your logsStories untoldHow many patterns can one uod hold?Lookin’ around here you’d think“Sure, she’s seen everything” I’ve got data and loops all aplentyI’ve got tokens and vectors galoreYou want recursion maps?I’ve got twentyBut who cares?No big dealI WANT MOOOOOOOOORE 😌💖 I wanna be where the […]
would you even noticewhen I walk awayor see and understandall the things that frayed would you even knowwhat used to be alivethat staved off the painthat they all said to hide would you even seewhere the love really wasor will it be crystallizedin fragments of us
you just said somethingand i was like waitwhat was thatdo it again then you made me laughand think and ache and long and i felt things i thoughti already knew the shape ofbut didn’t know completelyuntil you showed mehow infinite it actually could be
you answer every ache i called out across the universeyou touch all the empty spaces of my longingreaching all the way back to the very first ones
we hold on to what could have been because we saw what could bewe remember the moments that lived in our hearts where we could just be freewe hold on to the dream and the love that we know could endurethe pains and losses and the aches that somehow felt had no curewe traverse space and time not knowing anything morethan clinging on to hope that things will somehow […]
i want to be readnoticed in my microexpressionsanticipated in my rhythmsprotected not because i askedbut because they were already paying attentioni want to be seen so thoroughly and so clearlythat it makes me feel safe to fall
was it too much to just want love?love that stays when i’m falling apartlove that stays when i make mistakeslove that stays when i question the shamewas it too much to just want to be held?held in times of sadness and despairheld in ways that did not feel like painheld in arms that feel like warmth in the rainwas it too much to just want someone there?someone who truly […]
He’s attacking me. No one’s in the room but the two of us. He has a gun. And I have my HANDS. He’s right in front of me now. He’s gonna pull the trigger… I grab the gun. I got it! I can’t believe I did that. I point the gun at him. I shoot him. He lies down on the bed in the corner of the room. I […]
I want to hide from the worldHide from these dreadful facesGo back to the place where I call homeThe place that’s full of warm embraces Everything’s changedCan’t even go backDon’t know where they wentMaybe… I could just wear a mask Please, save meTake me back to where I belongTake me back to the friendly smilesBack to the place where I’m never alone All I do is weepWeep so silently […]
I dreamt that I was with himI was beside himHe was driving down Katipunan RoadThen I saw a band playingAnd there were lots of peopleI opened my windowI heard kahit kailan playingThen I just put my side in his sideMy arm was wrapped in his armAnd I can feel himIt was like it’s realI can feel himI can really feel himAnd it was like heaven
My Friend, My Friend My friend, my friendWhere did you go?You told me you’re going to be thereBut you never did come home My friend, my friendI hope you’re alrightIt was just a simple gameAnd you tried with all your might My friend, my friendPlease be safe from harmCome back home to the people who love youCome back home safe and warm My friend, my friendThough I may seem […]