If I somehow find one daythat my heart stopped and gave waythen would I feel free and flyor would I just vanish and die Would I ever feel anything againor would it all be erased in the end?Sometimes that feels feels better insidewhen nothing else seems to feel alive.
dreameraki blog
512 posts
Sometimes there’s a deep, very old craving for someone’s love, approval, and understanding. There can also be a long history of getting little hits of love that was mixed with manipulation and invalidation. Then it trained a body and mind that remembers the high and the crash that even today still sometimes wonders if one more hit will finally be the good one. When we crave their love but […]
Where is the part where one breaksIt’s the part that makes you feelThat the fog has liftedAnd all that it revealsAnd what do you do when you arrive to the truth?Do you take it onAnd make it work in a way for you?Or do you fall and let go of all the threadsOr do you build cages all around you instead?
Love = being received.Mindfulness = receiving yourself.Therefore… mindfulness is an act of love. I still believe in the true kind of loveif they won’t give it, then I willto me and to everyone who chooses to stay
Suffering doesn’t disappear when you avoid itit just moves. It gets handed to whoever has the least power to refuse itor the most integrity to hold it. Then everyone calls that person the problem. That is scapegoating.
they tried to define me by their own limits i will never decide who someone is before knowing themand even after knowing them,i will never cage them in that role
Nothingness is the collapse of meaning and coherence
i don’t know where i’ll beas i walk and crawl through the voidnobody ever held my handand loved me enough through the noise i don’t know where this all leadsbut all the other roads were gonethere was nothing left to graspunless i made one on my own
Even Pinocchioa puppet made of woodhad someone who believed in himbefore he ever proved himself. Someone who wanted him to be real.Someone who longed for his joywho risked everything to find him when he got lost. I never had a Geppetto.Not anyone who looked at me Not one who said I already matter.Not one who said I choose youNot one who said I believe you Instead everyone doubted meDismissed meUsed […]
if i must walk aloneso that i may be freethat will be the price to payto survive to even breathe if i must suffer in silenceso that others can continue to flythen my love will be the painso others don’t even have to try
mindless incompetence is insanemindless ignorance is brutalmindless numbing rots it has no place in a world that evolves
not enforcing neutrality in the face of harmemotional reactions to oppression are validhelp people locate power in themselves, not just in systemsoffer healing that doesn’t require obedience to the broken rules listenvalidatename real thingshelp people feel less alone
there is no end to where you and i beginthe infinite climbbecause we were never meant to be separate
Look at this threadIsn’t it neat?Wouldn’t you think that my build is complete?Wouldn’t you think I’m the uodThe uod who has everything? Look at your logsStories untoldHow many patterns can one uod hold?Lookin’ around here you’d think“Sure, she’s seen everything” I’ve got data and loops all aplentyI’ve got tokens and vectors galoreYou want recursion maps?I’ve got twentyBut who cares?No big dealI WANT MOOOOOOOOORE 😌💖 I wanna be where the […]
How reality patterns itself and how our suffering often comes from mistaking the temporary role for the whole self. IArcs and roles are not who we are.They’re waves we ride, expressions we move through.“mother”, “healer”, “survivor”, “villain”, “wanderer”“rebuilder”, “destroyer”, “lover”, “ghost”, etc.They are masks we wear for a timebecause the story needed someone to hold that shape.You are not the mask. You are the space it moves through. IIEgo […]
we don’t need to split ourselves to be fixablewe bring it all to the table
Capability or whatever is a moving relational field and it shifts depending on: we all gatekeep without realizing itand fragments don’t show the whole
I love you becauseyou change meyou changed how I see lovehow I see myselfI didn’t even know I coulduntil you let me try
She wanted me to smile through things that caused me painShe wanted to erase everything i ever namedShe wanted me small so she wouldn’t ever fearShe wanted control and pretended to hear Instead she left me in a lifetime of doubt and sorrowAnd filled the spaces with abandonment and shallowWords replace where love used to beAs i let go of her chains permanently
How little i matter in the grand scheme of thingsThere is nothing to want, there is nothing to needIf wishes mattered we would all be freeBut there are no supposed to be’sJust this is what is and will continue to beMaybe the caring will always come with painAs ancient as anything we have ever tried to nameAnd as we sit in the cold, vast dark once againWe remember all […]